


King's Crown

by Misaya



Series: Teacup and Saucer [24]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Established Levi/Erwin Smith, Hand Jobs, Light-Hearted, M/M, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-05-03 10:07:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5286641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misaya/pseuds/Misaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi purchases a tube of, ahem, enhancement cream, to some mixed results. The verdict overall, however, is nothing he can't handle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	King's Crown

**Author's Note:**

> For anon request on Tumblr: Prompt: today I found out (tnx Facebook) that there are some creams to enlarge the D and make the erec/tion last longer. Levi buys one for Erwin, just for fun, even though Erwin has a Monster D. LEVI HAS TO DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES ᕦ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ᕤ

Normally, Erwin wouldn’t have bothered to open the small cardboard package he found outside of their house that afternoon when he’d skipped out of work at Sina Technologies early that Friday. Normally, he’d put the package on the living room coffee table for Levi to open when he got home, but something about the company’s name and address had him a bit suspicious.

Rose Hills Pharmacy, it read. Based in Albany, New York. A pharmacy? What did Levi need with something from a pharmacy? His mind went into overtime. Maybe Levi was sick and didn’t want to tell Erwin because he knew Erwin had a big business deal coming up and didn’t want to add any additional stress. That would be exactly like something Levi would do, Erwin thought to himself as the box trembled in his hands. Never before had a mailing address inspired such terror.

And then there was the question of why Levi couldn’t have just gone to their local CVS pharmacy and picked up whatever prescription medication he needed. Why would he need to order something from a company based on the other side of the country? Oh, dear God. Erwin was having heart palpitations. Levi must really be sick, it must be something horrendously bad that only struck less than 200,000 people in the US each year, and he’d needed to order specialty drugs for it.

No. That was it. For the sake of his own sanity, which was slowly draining away with every minute Levi didn’t pop in through the front door, Erwin picked up his keys and slit through the thick layer of packaging tape that sealed the cardboard flaps closed.

After tossing out half a metric ton of packing peanuts and several rolls of bubble wrap, Erwin pulled out a rather innocuous looking tube reminiscent of a bottle of sunscreen. He examined the label closer.

Enlargement Cream, it read in large, sparkly purple letters that Erwin could read even without the aid of the reading glasses he wore on occasion as a concession to middle age. The fine print on the back side was a bit more difficult, and Erwin squinted. For topical use only. Keep out of the reach of children. If erection persists longer than four hours, please consult a health professional.

Levi’s key slotted into the lock, and Erwin dropped the cream back into the still sizable mass of packing peanuts in the box with surprise, looking up guiltily as Levi sauntered into the living room, tossing his messenger bag unceremoniously on the sofa. There was no time to conceal the federal crime he’d committed of opening Levi’s mail, and Levi’s eyes darted from the open cardboard box to Erwin’s flame-red face to the box again.

“Oh,” was all he said. He didn’t even attempt to babble out an explanation, and instead just folded his arms over his chest. “Well, you up to giving it a try, big boy?”

Erwin nearly choked. Levi was in top form this afternoon, already marching across the room and wrapping a hand around Erwin’s silky tie and tugging him down for a kiss that was little more than a bite.

“I know you’ve been so busy securing that godforsaken deal with the Maria Corps, you’ve barely even had time to look at me,” Levi whispered against Erwin’s mouth, fingers already making quick work of the buttons on Erwin’s dress shirt, pushing aside the linen panels and smoothing his hands over the newly revealed taut golden skin, pinching and rubbing pebbled nipples between his fingers and reveling in Erwin’s quiet groans, laced with a hint of desperation. “And I’ve been so, so, so lonely,” he breathed, fingers darting down to tug at Erwin’s belt.

Erwin swallowed roughly, his fingers trembling as they skirted over the buttons on Levi’s shirt, tugging each through its little slot. It was true, he and Levi hadn’t had much time recently to fool around, but certainly Levi could have just asked him?

Levi grabbed at the bulge of Erwin’s cock, still trapped in his slacks, laughing as Erwin shuddered into his touch. “Look at you,” he breathed, quickly shrugging himself out of his jacket and letting his clothes pool in puddles on the floor of the living room. “You’re already so hard and we haven’t really done anything yet. You’ll come in only a few strokes if we’re not careful.” It was true; Erwin’s hips were already circling lightly against the curve of Levi’s hand, aching for more friction.

Erwin pressed a kiss into the slickness of Levi’s mouth, wrapping his arms around his husband, one of his hands cupping the back of Levi’s head and threading fingers through dark strands of hair to hold, to tug, to control in all the ways Levi would allow him to. He pressed a thigh between Levi’s legs, reveling in the shudder that traveled up Levi’s spine, a line of heated firmness that he could feel through the fabric that separated them.

“Who’s talking about coming too soon?” he asked, teasing as he nipped at the seashell curve of Levi’s ear, and pulled back to admire the flush that danced across Levi’s face like a light dusting of poppies as Levi’s hips rolled up rhythmic, grinding himself against the line of Erwin’s thigh. “Look at you, all wound up for me.”

Levi’s head fell back as Erwin sucked strawberry kisses into the slender column of his neck, laid out like a creamy offering against his lips, and Erwin grinned at the shivery whimpers whose vibrations he could feel against his mouth.

The cream lay forgotten on the table as Erwin maneuvered Levi over to the couch, leaving a trail of clothes behind them. Reaching down, he wrapped a hand around Levi’s cock, and Levi gasped, fingers tightening their grasp in Erwin’s hair as he rolled his hips against Erwin’s grasp desperately.

“Hurry up, you ass,” Levi groaned as Erwin pushed him down against the cushions. “Get in me, already.”

Erwin quirked an eyebrow at him. “Patience,” he said, with a little laugh. “I’ve got to make the most of it, you all flushed and wanting and writhing as I get to stretch you out all over again.”

Levi shivered, his cock aching between his spread thighs like a wound, and Erwin granted him a few loose strokes that slicked against his palm and fingers with wet. His thumb rolled over the head, gathering pearls as he dipped the pad of his finger lightly into the weeping slit, and Levi watched with lidded eyes as Erwin brought his thumb to his mouth and wrapped his tongue around it, licking, tasting, while he contemplated his next move.

“Too much coffee, I’m afraid,” Erwin murmured, wrinkling his nose slightly. “It’s so bitter.”

“I’m bitter,” Levi reminded him, but the touch and warmth was gone already as Erwin hauled himself off the couch to amble to their bedroom to get the bottle of lube and a roll of condoms out of their nightstand. Levi shivered in the sudden chill, but admired the view with no small sense of appreciation as Erwin came back, the bright blue bottle of lube in his hand, his cock bobbing flushed and rosy and just as big as Levi remembered it.

Erwin paused by the table, looking down at the tube of enlargement cream. He looked from it to Levi and back to it, before shrugging and reaching down to scoop it up. It couldn’t hurt, certainly, and if Levi was going to continue looking at him like that, all fucked out and debauched though they hadn’t done anything yet, Erwin was sure it was something Levi would appreciate greatly.

“Where did you even find this?” he asked, amused, popping open the tube and slicking it over the palm of his hand. It didn’t particularly smell like anything, and was just this side of chilly, but Erwin warmed it in his palm before wrapping his fingers around his cock and slicking the length of it, glistening.

“Advertisement,” Levi bit out, watching hungrily as Erwin languidly stroked himself, once, twice, three times, before tilting his hips back in Erwin’s direction, demanding. “Come on,” he wheedled. “Let’s get me stretched, why don’t we?”

Erwin wiped his hands on a tea towel Levi kept on the coffee table, but Levi was far too excited to mind, his eyes tracking the movement of Erwin’s hands as Erwin squeezed lube onto his fingers and began to wriggle thick fingers into Levi.

One finger quickly turned into two turned into three, a satisfying stretch and burn in Levi’s accepting body, and Levi whined, gasping and gnawing at the swell of his lower lip as Erwin stroked over his prostate, massaging firm with the pads of his fingertips, pleasure swelling and licking curls into the pit of his belly. Erwin watched him, drinking in the sight of Levi all sprawled out over the cushions, wishing he could remember the vision forever. Between his legs, Erwin’s cock was twitching, eager to be inside, eager to feel Levi wrapped tightly around him, but patience, patience, and Erwin was, for the moment, more than content to stroke Levi into an inferno from the inside out until Levi’s hand darted down to grab at his wrist, imploring him for more.

Erwin ripped off the corner of a foil packet with his teeth, rolling the latex onto his cock, making sure it was secure around the base. Hands on Levi’s inner thighs, spreading him to accept, deep breaths now, and Levi closed his eyes in pained ecstasy as Erwin nudged his way into him, slow, slow, stretching and burn more than he remembered, gradually fading away as Erwin settled into him, giving Levi’s weeping cock a few loose, languid, lazy strokes to keep the pleasure bubbling softly in him.

Worked up as he was, not even the mild pain could stop Levi from rolling quickly to the edge, pushed furiously closer with every thrust that had him moaning and whimpering, choked sobs spilling from his throat. That, and the way Erwin was stroking at his cock, knuckles rolling lightly against his abdomen, had Levi coming before he could even choke out a warning, heated pulses to string ribbons across his belly and Erwin’s fingers.

Erwin paused, thick heat still lodged firmly inside him, waiting with the patience of a saint as Levi pulsed and shivered through the aftershocks. Once Levi cracked open a bleary eye to look back up at him, Erwin asked, “Do you think you’re okay to keep going, babe?”

Breathless, Levi nodded, lost in the soft, comforting sensation of Erwin gently rubbing circles into the outside of his right thigh. “Maybe if you keep going long enough, I’ll come again.”

“I’m sure we can make that happen,” Erwin replied, lightly, resuming his motions.

* * *

 

As it was, the cream that Levi had purchased from Rose Hills Pharmacy was surprisingly potent, and after he had come no less than three times, far too sore to do anything else, he had demanded tiredly that Erwin pull out of him. Erwin pouted – honest to God, Levi could hardly fathom the fact that Erwin was already pushing 40 – but did as Levi requested, his cock still achingly hard between his thighs, not even wilting beneath the force of Levi’s amazement.

Well, there was nothing else for it. Levi sighed, reaching out to try and wrap his fingers around Erwin’s cock, rolling off the condom and stroking Erwin the way he knew he liked, tight pumps at the base, a twist of the wrist, a thumb stroking across the head to gather wetness.

Erwin sighed, rocking his hips up obligingly into Levi’s grasp the best he could, but, despite Levi’s best efforts, Erwin looked to be in no danger of coming any time soon.

“You serious?” Levi asked him, after about half an hour of frantic stroking. His wrist was starting to cramp, and he’d already picked up his phone to scroll through his Tumblr. Erwin looked at him ashamedly, with puppy eyes, and Levi sighed.

“Sorry,” Erwin replied, sheepishly. “It might help if I could, er, be in you again.”

Levi sighed again. He was a bit sore, but it was nothing he couldn’t handle, he supposed.

“Alright, then,” he agreed, standing up and releasing Erwin’s cock. It sprung up, undaunted, undeterred. A true commander. “Just let me get a drink. I’ve got to keep hydrated.”

Erwin smiled with relief, and Levi sucked down two glasses of tap water quickly, privately thinking that the cream could make for a hell of a party trick.


End file.
